The coronavirus pandemic has caused many of our lives to be turned upside down. Everything has moved online, we are learning new roles all the time such as becoming teachers for our children and co-workers to our family members. A lot of the time, it can feel like we might just survive this; our mental health might just pull through, our relationship might just make it.
But what if we could not only survive it but grow from it?
Post-traumatic Growth
We’ve all heard of post-traumatic stress, where someone experiences or witnesses a traumatic event and struggles with symptoms for years to come. Not many people have heard of the term post-traumatic growth.
Post-traumatic growth is not a new concept, it has been around in many guises throughout history. Think of the phoenix that rises from the ashes in Egyptian mythology.
It was conceptualised in the psychological literature in the early 1990s as the idea that one can experience positive changes in relationships, life philosophy, and their sense of peace and optimism, all in the face of adversity. It involves not only a return to normal functioning but a surpassing of the individual’s pre-trauma functioning.
You might be thinking that the coronavirus, for many, is not especially traumatic. Yes, we have to stay indoors more than normal, and yes our routines are out of balance, but on the whole, it isn’t traumatic.
But doesn’t that give you hope? If people who have been through terrorist attacks, wars, and sexual assaults can experience growth after what they have been through, then we can experience growth from this.
How Can We Grow?
Growth can’t be forced, but there are some things that you can do to give yourself the best chance at growing through adversity;
Begin to think about how you want to be and how you might get there. You might want to use the time during isolation to develop a new morning routine, to start a yoga practice or a meditation practice, or to practice new habits.
Gratitude and appreciation. It is very important that we recognise and are grateful for the things that we have and the things that we can do, rather than always focusing on the things that we have lost or have yet to gain. Instead of complaining about the fact that we can’t go and meet our friends for coffee, we should be appreciating that we have a safe place to isolate.
Allow yourself to talk honestly. It’s important to process what is happening, and what has happened, in order to be able to let it go. Talk to a friend, family members, a therapist, a colleague. But, have boundaries with it. Talking and processing what is happening is very different from dumping a list of complaints onto someone else. Equally, if you feel overwhelmed by constantly talking about coronavirus and it’s impact, then let people know this in a gentle way.
Accept offers of help, and reach out to help others. Helping others, even when we are facing our own adversity, can be extremely powerful. We might get a sense of satisfaction from being able to help someone else; it can feel empowering to know that we still have the capacity to do so. Equally, accepting help from others does not mean accepting defeat. It means that you understand that we are stronger together.
Understand that it is a process. As with most things, growth does not always have a linear trajectory. We can have setbacks, we can have days that feel harder than others, but what is important is that we continue to move forwards. Whether we move forwards in giant strides or small shifts in mindset doesn’t matter. Forwards is forwards, no matter the pace.
ABOUT AMY
amylaunder.counselling@gmail.com
Amy Launder is a Psychotherapist and Counsellor working in both private practice and with NHS clients. Amy facilitates a warm and safe environment within counselling sessions, enabling clients to explore what is on their minds without fear of judgement. Amy works with her clients to support them in uncovering their own strengths, enabling them to thrive and live the lives that they desire.
If you would like to explore the idea of some one-to-one support during this time, please contact Amy using the links above.
