What would life look like for you if you knew absolutely no one would judge you?
What would life feel like for you if you were doing everything you loved?
What would you do if money was no issue?
What would it feel like to have no worry of what others may think of you?
What would you do if you believed in your super powers more than anything?
So many of us are so scared of doing what we want at the fear of judgement and lack of self-belief. How many of you have an Instagram name something completely unidentifiable as you? Was that because you didn’t want to use your personal account in fear of people mocking you? Are you working in a world so far from what you dreamed of? Are you hiding in the shadows because you are so scared of what the light might bring? We all love an empowering insta-quote around being fearless, a ‘go-getter’ a strong, badass, ambitious, independent woman. My whole business is built around making women strong, confident and fearless. Whether in the gym doing a pull up, or walking out of the gym like a girl boss. On the outside, I look like the most fearless girl going, yet on the inside fear has blocked, limited and ultimately, stopped me achieving so many of my goals throughout my entire life.
Since the moment I could walk, there was no stopping me. I was one of those annoying toddlers bouncing off walls. Between the ages of 4 – 14 I practically handstand walked around the house, I watched Sabrina The Teenage Witch upside down, I somersaulted off every wall I could find- I was totally, completely fearless. Or so it would seem anyway. A child that appeared so fearless on the exterior, yet I slept in my mum’s bed until I was in my teens because I hated sleeping alone. I went to bed every night worrying something may happen to my mum or sister and it would leave me with no parents. As I got older, this fear continued to affect my life and the things I loved. I started dancing at the age of 2 and always dreamed of dancing professionally, yet I wouldn’t audition for the Brit School when it came to choosing colleges, at the fear of being rejected and embarrassed. Instead, I gave up dancing – something I loved so much. Below are my 5 tips to overcoming fear.
FEAR IS A CHOICE.
‘We have two choices in life, to learn and live through the perception of love, or the perception of fear.” – Gabrielle Bernstein
Once you master that fear isn’t something that has to be there, yet something you choose to see, the way you work changes. We so often chose fear, because it feels a little safer there – free from ridicule, people passing judgment and ultimately failure, right?
Many thought leaders say we have two choices, to chose through fear or love. Let me assure you, love always wins. When you come from a place of positivity and love, you attract more of that in to your life. When you chose to live with fear, you may feel safer and free from people judgeing but you are only attracting more of that fear.
BELIEVE IN YOUR ABILITIES.
Hard work and dedication support your chances of success. Belief in the outcome ensures It” Wayne Dyer
When have you ever let yourself down? When you are truly passionate about something when have you not achieved it. Think of a time in your life when you achieved something that scared you. We have all been there. Notice how when you acted out, you just did what felt right for YOU. You knew you had the skills, abilities and drive to make it work and knew you would achieve it. When you believe in your abilities, you cannot go wrong. I have learnt that when we let fear take over, it usually is down to a lack of self belief in our abilities.
For two years, I juggled my full-time job as an advertising manage working on the world’s most iconic magazine brands and my full-time side project as blogger meets PT, meets brand consultant and let’s say it most definitely got the better of me. Something had to give, I had to let one go and choose one path. The path to the top of the corporate life I had always dreamed of, or the path of uncertainty, a path so full of FEAR. A good friend of mine, knew I was working on both projects and asked me why I was still at work. She looked at my business plan for Alternatively Healthy and begged me to see how powerful my work was and how I had everything I needed within me to be able to achieve it. It was in that very moment that I realised it was the lack of belief in my abilities that made me see the second option as a fearful one. If I just believed in my vision and my ability to do so, it wouldn’t seem so scary – what is there to be scared of?
WORRY LESS ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU
Someone else’s thought of you, does not define you”
-Becki Rabin
What other people think of you does not define who you are, it should not make you think of YOU in the same way. Often, those who pass judgement are insecure in their own practice. When you stop worrying what others may say or how they may react – you start thinking about what YOU WANT, what makes YOU happy. Then suddenly the fear goes.
I see far too many girls not follow their dreams at the fear of what friends may say. I promise you, those who are worthy of being in your life, will support you. You may lose some people along the way but when you realise how much happier you are, you realise how much more important it is.
HAPPINESS IS AT THE HEART – FIGURE OUT WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire
The moment I directed my focus on what made me happy, everything else became irrelevant. Fear left the building. I loved my old job, it was great, it gave me status and was an amazing job but what it did not do, was set my soul on fire. Not one bit. I love helping others, I love spreading my message and I love talking about wellness. So many of us spend so much time worrying about external things, we forget to ask ourselves what makes us happy, what fulfils us and leaves us feeling accomplished. Once you master that, you suddenly don’t care about how many people liked it, or you, how many followers you got or how much money it earned you. Funnily enough, all those things then chase you.
GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY
Do you overthink the outcome? What if this? What if it that? What if you just didn’t think and stepped out of your own way and did. I am the worst at overthinking things, so much so I busy my mind clutter my thoughts and let fear close me up. If I come up with a new idea I spend hours thinking of the name, the creative the marketing and never just roll with the idea to see what happens. The only person blocking you to being the best version of you and do the things you want to do is YOU. No one else is stopping you, just you. Open up to new possibilities’, surrender to knowing that what is meant to be will be and enjoy the process as it unfolds.
