Did you know…we are wired to avoid discomfort?
Our brain’s sole purpose is to keep us safe and out of danger, therefore we are neurologically wired to avoid discomfort and uncertainty. Our brain and nervous system are running the show, and without learning about how they can be your alley, they can soon become the enemy. When faced with something out of our comfort zone, our mind creates thoughts and feelings that tell us to stop, to not ‘expose’ ourselves and even convince us that we are not worthy of what we want. Our nervous system can go into ‘fight or flight’ and create uncomfortable feelings and even physical symptoms, to stop us in our tracks. The trouble is, if we back off every time, we leave no room for growth, expansion and courageous action. The power in knowing this, is that we can work with it rather than against it. Intuitively you will have a sense of what is in alignment with your growth and I suspect you may just need a little mind hack or new perspective to get you there. If you can hang out in the tension between wanting something, and your mind and body resisting, you can make a different decision. When the mind chatter and physical sensations rise, welcome them, let them pass, then you have the capacity to move forward.
RESOURCES: Check out the amazing work of Mastin Kipp. He has a podcast and book called ‘Claim Your Power’ all about the nervous system and overcoming trauma.
TIP: Practice being with the discomfort, rather than backing away from it. Your comfort zone will grow and you will find yourself taking new action.
Did you know…your nervous system collects ‘evidence’ and needs data?
Whilst I am all for being in flow and not forcing an outcome in life, often we do need to push ourselves to reach our dreams. If we have a thought or feeling, often enough, it forms a neurological pathway, and that way of thinking and feeling becomes easily accessible to us. During the worst period of anxiety I have ever experienced, I became so worried before facilitating training that I would be physically ill. It got so bad, I eventually even became unwell before meeting friends for coffee. I was so unsettled by the experience, all I wanted to do was avoid these scenarios. However, actually continuing through the experience was the best thing I could have done. You see, your nervous system is collecting data all the time about what is safe and what is not, and due to a period of sustained stress, suddenly those normal everyday events had become ‘unsafe’ to my nervous system. Intuitively though I knew if I gave into the sensations, my fear and resistance would only grow. My mission was to push through the experiences and ‘collect’ evidence that I could feel unwell, and still do what I needed to anyway. Low and behold after some time, the symptoms began to subside.
RESOURCES: Check out the work of Dr Joe Dispenza. His book ‘Becoming Supernatural’ delves into the science of our thoughts and feelings, and is a very insightful read.
TIP: Make time for moments of still. Whether it is breathing deeply, meditation, or simply sitting still and listening to relaxing music. For your mind to become your ally, it needs to be treated with love. Moments of calm and positive thoughts are like much needed gifts for your mind and body.
Did you know…you are being bias even when you think you are not?
Whether we like it or not, we often operate on bias assumptions. There is so much information in the external world, we need to make neurological shortcuts and use previous experiences to make snap judgements in our current reality. It’s not good or bad, it’s just necessary. However, this can leave us short changed. In these snap decisions or automatic assumptions, we often come to a less than ‘true’ conclusion. If we believe we are not good enough, we will be on high alert for evidence to support this. If we assume we have nothing unique to offer, we will notice all the similarities we have to others. The fantastic news is, we can use this in our favour. By saying positive affirmations you are using this bias in your favour. Statements such as ‘I am worthy’, ‘I am safe’ and ‘I always get what I need’ are quite literally training your brain to see the world anew. By seeing in a new way, you think more empowering thoughts and you build the courage to take new action. It really can be that simple.
RESOURCES: The queen of affirmations is the late Louise Hay, who wrote ‘You Can Heal Your Life’. I urge you to read this book.
TIP: Affirmations, affirmations, affirmations! Create five ‘I am…’ statements and say them aloud every day.
We are all so much more powerful, intuitive and soulful than we realise. We sometimes just get stuck in a limited way of thinking or unhelpful behaviour. It’s the small steps and daily decisions that can make the biggest difference long term. Try any one of these tips and commit to it for a week, I promise you’ll start to feel a difference.
ABOUT FAYE
Faye, also known as The ‘What If’ Coach, is on a mission to support individuals and groups to go from feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, to feeling inspired and ready to indulge in the ‘what if…’ of life. Faye has experience training educators in coaching skills, delivering coaching programmes to undergraduate students and facilitating workshops to support professionals develop their leadership skills. To deepen her skillset, Faye is also studying BSc (Hons) Psychology and is delighted she is able to merge coaching skills and psychological tools to further support the growth of others.
